Retreat Home

Defeated, you return home with no groceries. The fridge hums its emptiness back at you — a cavern holding nothing but a lone bottle of sriracha and half a lime. You sigh, collapse onto the couch, and reach for your phone.

You scroll r/Charlottesville for solace. The glowing feed greets you like an old, dysfunctional friend.

At the top:

• A photo of a bear climbing a tree in Fry’s Spring (Are they friendly?)

• And there it is: the inevitable thread, posted like clockwork, every month, every year.“What’s the best Bodo’s order?”

You freeze.

Hundreds of replies. Thousands of opinions. Egg, sausage, and cheddar acolytes dueling with turkey-and-swiss purists. Plain bagel minimalists sneering at everything. The lox disciples, whispering their gospel. Someone, inevitably, suggesting “just get all three locations and rank them.”

The screen glows brighter. The arguments spiral deeper. The debate has no bottom, no end. You read them all, helpless. Your hunger grows. Your despair deepens.

And then it hits you: you have not escaped Pantops traffic — you have only traded it for this. The eternal scroll. The endless loop.

You weep.

Try Again?