Kale Combat

You enter a heated debate over kale pricing.

It begins innocently enough — a casual remark at the farmer’s market that $7 is “a bit much” for a bundle. But suddenly, voices rise. A vendor snaps back, “It’s locally grown.” A shopper in a tie-dye shirt lectures you about soil health. Someone mutters something about Whole Foods and inflation.

Then, disaster.

A UVA Econ major materializes as if summoned, clutching a laptop and a portable projector.

“Well, actually,” he begins, as he sets up a screen against a crate of apples.

The graphs appear instantly: supply curves, demand curves, price elasticity models of leafy greens. The crowd groans but cannot escape. The Econ major is relentless, clicking through slide after slide:

• “Kale as a Veblen good.”

• “The marginal utility of arugula.”

• “Why subsidies for kale could save the housing market.”

Your vision blurs. Your knees buckle. The last thing you hear before blacking out is:
“…in conclusion, if we simply internalize the externalities of kale production…”

The world goes dark.

Try Again?